October 13, 2006

Casino Cocktail Friday -- Beer n Slots

mmm beer

Sometimes you have class. Sometimes you have style. Sometmies you are the pinnacle of the casino scene. Other times, you just drink beer and play slots. Well for all of you (and many of us) we proudly present today's Casino Cocktail Friday. We will take a look at all you need to know about playing slots, and drinking beers, and even playing slots WHILE drinking beers.

First, our ingredients:

Glass of Beer:
1 Glass
1 Beer

Seriously, you're more likely to get a cup of beer. Served in a plastic cup, and its really more ilke half a beer, but hey. Its a start.

Our first lesson for you, is never ask for a glass of beer. Ask for a name brand, and particularly, ask for a bottle. Some casinos won't serve you the bottle, but they might, and you can at least protect yourself from a crappy brand of beer. You are nearly guaranteed to be able to get a budwiser, and usually in a bottle, so that is deffinitely worth a shot. Some may complain that Budwiser is in fact, crappy, but hey, its the King of Beers, and while its not for the fine-brewing fanatics, it is still far better than some other swills we wont mention. Just think of college, and you'll know what we're talking about.

Now, no matter where you are, if you want to be a bit more adventurous, you should take the time to learn what the big local beer is, and try it. You may even have a wide selection of local beers that are worth trying. For example, when in Mexico, you can try Corona, but you could also try Negro Modela. When on a cruise ship, try perhaps Red Stripe. In asia, you could check out Tsing Ha, or Kirin Ichiban. In truth, there are beers from all over, and its usually worth it to ask. Even if you are at a US casino, many carry regional beers, and even many imports from around the world, like those I just mentioned. The point is, ask if they have local beers, ask if they have imports, and take a chance.

Which brings us to the gaming portion of our story, the slots. Slots come in all manner of style. What we are looking for these days are as follows (in no particular order):
1) the stakes
2) decent payouts
3) an area clearly frequented by the cocktail waitress for refills
4) a fun game

You want the stakes to match your time to play, and your bank account. If you are just looking to find a place to kill an hour or so, then hitting the penny or nickel slots with 20-40 bucks is easy. You can expect to get less cocktail service in those areas, but its still a fun way to kill time, you just may have to get your own beer. On the other hand, when you are looking for a big win, with a short playtime, blowing that same 20-40 bucks on a $5 pull, or even a $25 pull can be very exciting. You likely won't be there long enough to get even one cocktail, but you will get a thrill from playing with the big bucks.

The payout is the next on our list. Dont assume that all slots are equal. They are not. Learn how to read payouts, and judge if the slot is worth your time. If the payouts are too slim, then move on, there are plenty of other machines to chose from. If you dont belieive us go read our favorie guru, the Wizard of Odds. They even list a handy-dandy ranking of ten Vegas Casinos with respect to their average slot machine payout odds.

Obviously if its Casino Cocktail Friday, we are equally concerned with the cocktail as the game, and if there is no waitress around to take your order, you're going to be sitting lonely and sober. Take the time to scope out the area. See that other people have cocktails. Note that a waitress is working the area, and if you feel like it, see how long she takes to circle the room. There are lower trafficed areas, wether set up intentionally or not, and if you find yourself stuck in one, just move.

Finally we feel its always important, possibly most important, to be having fun while you play. The beer wont be doing all the work to make you happy, the game has to pull its weight. We reccommend the newer video slot machines. They have interesting themes, sounds, colors, and of course they have awesome bonus games. Its the bonus games that will keep you having fun. Sure you could just get a bunch of credits. But instead playing the price is right's mountain climber game, or watching a mock auction will be a far more entertaining way to see them roll in.


We do want to take a moment to say, as always, dont forget to tip your waitress, and also dont forget to tip the change maker, even if only a little. These folks work hard for you to have fun, and they don't get paid much, so show them your gratitude!


There it is folks. You Don't have to settle for lame beers while playing lame slot machines. Branch out and see if you can get yourself a Leffe while playing Winning Bid. It may be free, it may not, but either way you will have alot more fun.

Wizard of Odds -- slots of fun!
The Beer Advocate -- all you ever wanted to know about beer

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Posted by Russell Miner at October 13, 2006 1:07 PM
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