October 22, 2006

Jack Says: Dont Wear Sunglasses in a Nightclub

We have talked before about Jack Colton, the king of Vegas Club Cool. He has taken it upon himself to try to educate the masses in how to do things right, and how not to do things wrong on the Vegas scene. Today we bring to you some advice he has about sunglasses in night clubs. The skinny is don't do it, and here's what Jack says:

Wearing them in the club says to people:

1) You are trying waaaay too hard to look cool / fashionable.

2) You are rolling on E.

3) You fail to have any imagination when it comes to looking good in public, and will follow even the stupidest of fashion trends just because your friends are doing it - inspite of the fact that you can't even see the person standing in front of you.

4) You are hiding the fact that you recently contracted pink eye, and only the darkest shades will do

5) You see everyone looking at you, but because of the fact that you are stupidly wearing tinted sunglasses in a dark place, you cant see that they are actually also elbowing their friends and laughing at you.

6) You are cheating on your significant other, and are trying not to be recognized in public.

7) You think that just because you spent $500 on "Magic Celebrity Glasses," which cost more than your entire wardrobe, that you are supposed to wear them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Much like an 8-year old with a Batman cape that insists on wearing it to school, to the dinner table, and then to bed.

8) You fail to realize how many people are holding back from ripping your glasses off of your face, stepping on them, and splashing a shot of vodka in your eyes in hopes of teaching you a stern lesson.

9) You are from the East Coast, and are one of the few who have not yet realized that you don't have to mimick everything that someone says in a rap song.

10) Or simply....You are stupid and just forgot to take them off.

Sage advice. Head over to Jack Colton.com for even more.

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Posted by Russell Miner at October 22, 2006 9:00 AM
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